TP: Come in, Little Man. You seemed upset on the phone. Why the special session?
LM: Got a giant bug up my butt, doc. Thought I better talk it out before I tear somebodys nose off.
TP: Whats up?
LM: Theyre messin with mom, is what! You know, its one thing for me to mess with mom, give her a hard time, play hard to get, torment her with how I like dad best…you know, stuff like that. But heck, thats all in good funits just what makes our relationship ours. You only kid the ones you love, right doc? And I love the lady. You know that!
TP: I do.
LM: Anybody else messes with her, though thats a whole other deal. And this particular situation has really got my whiskers flairin.
TP: Is this about the animal thing? I saw something in the paper the other day.
LM: Thats it.
TP: Some of the people on the Mayors Animal Cruelty Commission resigned because of a bad report or something?
LM: Theres more to it than that, but yeh heres the skinny on that part. The chairperson of the Mayors group does an annual report on the Commissions work. It was published last week and the Mayor didnt like it. Duh! Of course, she didnt like it cause it said the Commission wasnt doin diddly-squat. Mrs. Mayor especially didnt like that the media got its paws on the report.
TP: What is this Commission anyway?
LM: Its your typical gaggle of politicians, police, judges, lawyers, activistsall talkin the talkalong with some of the people who actually walk the walk in Baltimores overcrowded, underfunded animal shelters.
TP: Hmm.
LM: You know the kind of group, doc. The kind that loves a press conference announcing its good intentions, maybe puts a little extra effort behind the cause for the first few weeks, then goes back to business as usual, leaving the heavy lifting to the worker bees.
TP: Lip service specialists, in other words.
LM: No. Those are the words, doc.
TP: OK, but hows this affect your mom? Her Soft Side campaign keeps getting high marks. The newspaper article even had some guy from the Mayors office citing it as an example of a positive action taken by the city.
LM: Taken by the city. Interesting choice of words! Lets be clear. The city had nothing to do with creating the Soft Side campaign, and less to do with its implementation. I was there. I know.
TP: Tell me.
LM: I was literally having a lie-in in dads office one day, maybe three years ago, when mom came in loaded for bear. Shed just seen two teenaged boys walking out of court, laughing and smirking. Theyd just been acquitted of dousing a one-year old pit bull with gasoline, setting her on fire, and watching as the dog howled in horrible pain. All kinds of people had seen them do it. A lady cop even got there in time to throw her jacket around the dog in a futile effort to save it. Anyway, mom was pissed when she saw these punks walking away scot-free. Never saw her like that before! She vowed to do something and a couple days later, she was back in dads office showing him some roughs of what would become the Soft Side campaign.
TP: I love that campaign.
LM: Everyone does. Big tough guys loving their pets, against the message that Only a punk would hurt a cat or dog. Anyway, a friend suggested that mom show her idea to the chairperson of the Mayors Commission, who loved it and asked mom to share it with her commission. They loved it too and said, yes, wed like to slap our name on that baby. Go get em. And thats about all they did slap a commission logo on the campaign posters and offer lip service to moms totally pro bono efforts to raise the money and resources necessary to take the message about animal cruelty and its rapid growth among inner city teens to the public.
TP: So youre upset that your mom doesnt get credit for her work?
LM: No. Its bigger than that. It pisses me off that the Mayors office acts like they created Soft Side, yes but now theyre even saying that they own it! How can you own something you havent paid for? Does Good Housekeeping own products it didnt create, just because it puts its Seal of Approval on them?
TP: Good point.
LM: Anyway, mom recently decided she should trademark the campaign to give her control over it as it goes beyond Baltimore. You know, doc, people from all over America, and from as far away as Brazil, have expressed interest in adapting it to their markets. Moms thrilled because shes proud of her work and wants to spread its message. But she doesnt want anybody turning it into something its not. Hence, the trademark move.
TP: And the Mayors office took issue with that?
LM: Big time. They threatened to sue my mom if she didnt withdraw her trademark application.
TP: I dont get it. You mean the citys now trying to kill the Soft Side campaign?
LM: Actually, they are. But theyre too dumb to realize it. Think about it. The campaign exists only because mom (and her partnersall of whom have given their time, energy and expertise pro bono, as have the celebrity Softies) breathed life into it. Now, mom is so distraught, even depressed, about the whole thing that she spends half her time wondering what the point is of all her work.
TP: If she walks away, the campaign dies.
LM: The campaign and more dogs and cats. Thats what really sucks, doc. You know, mom had a pretty good career when she worked for paying customerswhether they were selling ketchup or lipstick. But some years back, she decided she would only work on causes she felt passionate about. And nothing rises higher on that list than dogs and cats that are abused for kicks, rites of passage, or in the case of dog fighting, for profit.
TP: Shes doing a good thing.
LM: Yeh. And getting hassled for it!
TP: So, bottom line: the Mayors Commissions been called out for failing to report and prosecute cases of animal abuse, despite its stated mission to redouble efforts to do so. The Commission members who arguably cared the most about that mission have resigned in the face of the citys lack of commitment. And meanwhile, the city is so desperate to own something positive that its willing to sacrifice that positive on the altar of political self-interest.
LM: Well said, doc. Lets hope its not too late to keep that last domino from tumbling that way.
TP: Tell your mom to hang in there, Little Man.
LM: Will do, doc. Will do.
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