Thirty Super Bowls Ago

“It was January 22, 1984 and I was lying on the couch in my girlfriend’s apartment watching the Washington Redskins get creamed by the Los Angeles Raiders in Super Bowl XVIII. One of the announcers had just commented about the bad back that was affecting the performance of one of the Redskins premier offensive players, to which my girlfriend, lying alongside me, retorted, “Bullshit. There wasn’t anything wrong with his back the other night!” I was undoubtedly mulling that comment when an hypnotic humming sound came from the television and an athletic young woman, looking hot and sweaty in a white tank top and orange shorts, suddenly appeared full screen carrying a large brass hammer, running toward an Orwellian symbol of ‘Big Brother’ and hurling the hammer at its celluloid message of conformity. Apple’s Macintosh computer had arrived and I, along with millions of others, was duly impressed. Whether it was Apple’s message of bold change, or my girlfriend’s none-too-subtle reminder that she had no shortage of married, gentile boys sniffing at her ass, or me once again giving in to a desire to taste another side of life, about a week later, my first wife and I began our second, and final separation.”

Ironically, it was that same year of 1984 when a new and talented female writer joined our Baltimore ad agency from D.C. Over the next three years, she would grow to hate me, eventually dubbing me “the Idi Amin of advertising.” That woman and I have now been married for almost 26 years!

Life. You just never know.

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